Food Can Be Fun! Ask a Sikh Nutritionist

Have you been struggling with a picky eater? I think we can all resonate with this post.  The Sikh Mama Tribe blog contributor Diljot Kaur is with us today sharing her experiences with her picky almost 4 year old, and how her relationship with food is starting to change thanks to her conversation with a Sikh Nutritionist. Thank you Diljot Kaur for sharing your experience, we can all learn so much from one another – Sikh Mama Tribe for the win!

–Kiranjot Kaur

My almost-4-year-old daughter has had a negative relationship with food for a while.  She was borderline underweight for a bit and we went to see a paediatrician. We made some changes as per his suggestions, but they were very black and white. These suggestions resulted in short term gains, but mealtime became a negative event with Kokil Kaur generally being disinterested in it.

I knew that as a girl and later as a young woman, Kokil Kaur would be a target of unhealthy food habits. Whether the advice would be coming from a relative, or school friends or media, she would be told that she was too fat or too skinny and that she shouldn’t eat carbs and should eat more protein etc.

I did not want her to have this negativity at home. So I talked to my friend Baghael Kaur who is a registered holistic nutritionist, Montessori teacher and a mama of two. She is passionate about the role food and natural medicine can play in helping everyone achieve wellness. She gave me several suggestions that would empower Kokil Kaur in making good food choices, provide a positive environment around food and generally allow her to feel more independent and empowered.

Old Practice: Feeding her myself

Since she was not eating her meals at school, I would feed her breakfast, snack and dinner at home to make sure that she was at least getting some nutrients in. This did not work because I would be begging her to do simple things like opening her mouth, staying put in her chair, chewing and swallowing.

New Practice: She eats by herself

This has allowed to her to be independent, learn how to use utensils better, engage in dinner in a positive way and has given her the skills for her to be able to eat her lunch at school on her own. This has freed up so much of my time since I do not feed her anymore.

Old Practice: Giving her large portions

At one time, when she was borderline underweight, we upped her portions and basically forced her to eat which created a negative environment around meals. We would force her to eat everything on her plate because we were afraid that she was malnourished. This created confusion with her physical triggers. Instead of the meal being over when her body was telling her she was full, she was told that she would have to finish what was on her plate.

New Practice: Start with smaller portions

Seeing less food on her plate has encouraged her to make it disappear. If the food is never ending, she will feel discouraged. She can ask for more of any one thing that she enjoyed the most and fill her belly with it.

Old Practice: Snack time after school

Because she would not finish her lunch at school, she would eat it when she would come home at 4 pm. Because she is a slow eater, it would take her an hour to finish her meal and then she wouldn’t be hungry for dinner time and we would get back into the cycle of forced eating which cut away time from other fun activities.

New Practice: No snacks

It was okay for her to feel hungry for 2-3 days as she adapted to the new schedule and food plan. The hope was that she would eventually eat a solid three meals a day. I talked to her about feeling hungry before a meal and how that allows us to eat a better meal. She has been enjoying dinner time and eating quickly and asking for seconds. Most nights she has a second half-dinner with her dad when he comes home. Sometimes she keeps eating and eating and asking for more. Her total dinner meal ends up being her dinner and snack.

Old Practice: Letting meals be too long

Because of her disinterest in food as a result of forced eating, meal times were excruciatingly long. Her brother and dad would finish dinner in 30 minutes and they would start their evening routine. Kokil Kaur and I would sit at the table while she finished. Often times I would put a bite in her mouth, wash some dishes, put another bite in her mouth, pick up some toys, put another bite in her mouth, put away some food items etc. etc.

New Practice: Limiting meal time to 30-45 minutes

Her breakfast is 30 minutes and she has 45 minutes for dinner. I show her the clock (she’s really interested in the clock these days) saying the meal time will be up when the big hand reaches the 7. This left food on her plate in the beginning and I had to relearn what a good portion for was. I do not force her to sit for the full 30 minutes if she says she is full.

Old Practice: Limiting her water intake to after the meal

When we saw the paediatrician when Kokil Kaur was near underweight, he said to not give her liquids before or during a meal because she will fill up on it. Making something so black and white only made her want water even more.

New Practice: Giving her a certain amount of water for the entire meal, no refills

I show her how much water she is getting and tell her she may drink it all at once or take sips as she goes along, but that once it is done, she will not get anymore water. This helps her regulate thirst as well as hunger. If she is done her meal and still wants water, she may have some, but it should not be used as a reward.

Old Practice: constantly talking about the food, giving prompts and reminders

We never had a peaceful meal. It was always full of negativity and dread. Constantly reminding her to take another bite, asking her if she was chewing, even getting angry.

New Practice: no prompts or reminders

We try to make dinner time a fun, serene, happy space. Having her help in the preparation (on the weekend) has been fun. She enjoys having responsibility, so sometimes having her set the table is fun too. We talk about her day and I sometimes ask her if she is enjoying her meal. Most of the time she is pretty vocal about what she does and doesn’t like. This morning she told me she doesn’t want to have squash soup anymore!

Some Thoughts:

We have been following this new regime for 2 months or so and she has grown leaps and bounds! It has changed the atmosphere of our home. The day starts on a positive note and keeps going that way. She finishes her lunch almost everyday!  Try these tips yourself and tweek them around your child’s needs.